I KNEW I WAS GAY

Bill: I knew I was gay when I was twelve. I didn't know what it meant. 

Lauren: Yeah.

Bill: I knew something was different, and then I finally came out when I was 16 to my parents that I was gay. And being Southern Baptist and raised in the Bible Belt, my mother was horrified and sent me to a psychiatrist. 

Lauren: Okay.

Bill: And luckily for me then - I would say pretty progressive for the psychiatrist at that time - the option was that's who he is and that's how he's going to be. 

Lauren: Oh interesting.

Bill: And think it - when I look back now I do find it interesting for him to be so open-minded at that time. And after that, of course, my mother wasn't satisfied with his answer and thought that maybe we should go seek other professional opinions. And at that time, I told her that it is what it is and that's how it's going to be and if you want to have a relationship with me, then you're going to have to accept it. 

John: I tell you what, I really lived a sheltered life. I knew that I was gay, you know, but I just kept it suppressed. I think, you know, it starts at a very young age, you recognize something's different. I can't say that I have an aha moment, you know, it's just really cumulative. I probably came to the realization that I was gay - it was probably about - well, I think it was when I was sixteen and I think it was 1980 when AIDS came out. And it had a profound effect on me because I knew even though I wasn't openly gay and I didn't say, hey, I'm gay - I wasn't having that internal dialog - I knew that that was going to have a profound effect on my life and that was probably when I acknowledged to myself that, “yes, I am gay.”